Of Restrooms & relationships

Since the first of September have spent most of my time in California. My mother is 88. The past couple of years have been hard on her physically and she is not as sharp as she once was. Still most people would like to be half as sharp as she is now. Until the middle of January by time was spent at home. Home being the old huge rambling, 5 bedroom, 3 bath family house we have had ince '62!

Had contacted an old friend who lives in Steinbeck country, and we made plans to meet while I was in California. I kept putting off the date, but we finally agreed on a day in January. We have know each other for almost 30 years. We have always had a very special and unique relationship. We like, respect and love each other. What works for us is to see each other no more often then one every year or two, but by 5 years, too much time has gone by! Our relationship has never been physical, but we do truly love each other.

So on a typical California sunny day Mia, the 18 moth old cocker spaniel, I hang out with, got in the car and headed down 101. Around Hollister, Mia was getting restless and needed a to take care of business stop and grab a bite to eat. We stopped at an In 'n Out. We walked around the parking lot and the Mia went back in the car, while I went inside and took care of my business. Couldn't believe how clean the restroom was! I told the counterperson how impressed I was, and asked to see the manager so I could tell them also. They should be complemented and know how much their efforts are appreciated. Don't understand the way some businesses have such dirty restrooms.

At the Safeway by my mother's house, customer service is an art. When you are shopping the employees ask if they can help and not in an intrusive way, but with just the right touch. It is a rare bastion of good customer service. But go into the restrooms it is a completely different story. They're dirty, and something is usually broken. Like there will be no sink, or the paper towel holder has been knocked off the wall. Not a pleasant experience, but better then cattle have it. This time they were particularly bad. I have told the manger in the past how impressed I am with their customer service. This time I went up to him and told him the restrooms as always were dirty and disgusting. He looks at me with such surprise, whips out his radio and puts out a call to have them cleaned. Then he thanks me for brining it to his attention. While I appreciated is prompt response, my reply was how can you be so surprised, they are always like that!

Whole foods is another place that could put more effort into there restrooms. Am not a big fan of WF to begin with. The employees have a snooty attitude that is way over the top. Their prices are high. And I doubt the sincerity of the place. They aren't on a mission of good nutrition, but to rake in as much dough as they can. They play boomer music, and are a rip-off of the '60 ideals. So why don't they clean the restrooms? They make enough money to have a stack of dollar bills to use for toilet paper!

In passing Trader Joe's is another that could use more effort in the restroom cleanliness department. Both Wfs & Tjs are upscale type of chains. How can they think that their clientele appreciate dirty rest rooms?

My friend lives in paradise. They are in a small pastoral town. They have a large lot, keep goats for milk, a garden for vegetables. The rows of corn have the added responsibility of teaching their two children responsibility. Our past two visits have been more affectionate then usual. So sent an email to her saying that sex was not something I wanted in our relationship, but it seemed to me that a little cuddling, hand holding, and a kiss or two on occasion would be welcomed by both of us. When she finally replied it was an emphatic no way. Was afraid our friend ship had been ruined. This visit had an apprehensive foreshadow to it. And she seemed a little reserved, nervous, holding back and keeping her distance. We took Mia for a walk along the beach. I tried to be careful that we didn't touch, but our hands seemed to seek out these little contacts. Each time sparks flew. We were both fortunate we weren't electrocuted! After the walk we returned to paradise. She asked me what I would like to do until dinner which was a couple of hours away. Take nap was my response. Put Mia in the car as she has her share of indoor accidents, and if tied up she would have barked and barked. Fell right into a very deep sleep. And when I was woken did not know where I was.

When we were saying good by I gave her SO a very big hug. We've not had much of a relationship and it surprised both of us. Think it was to let him know that yes I liked him to, and appreciated the time I spent with his life's partner. Looking forward to my next trip to paradise in a year or two!

Keeping my pants on, but helping the effort!

Mickey;

I  will look forward to the color shot in the newspaper. Who knows it could spark a movement...

See you in the funny papers.

Bob

Fight terrorism; get naked!

Bob,

Do you remember when I was put in the booth, back in November at the JIAP?  And then the lady from TSA just wouldn't stop.  Although others from the TSA, including supervisors knew that she was way out-of-line and had gone completely overboard they wouldn't stop her.  When I came back to Juneau, went through security in both San Francisco & Seattle.  Compared to Juneau I was waived through.  In both places they opened my carry on.  They took a look and sent me on my way.  No one felt the need to put on gloves and feel my dirty undies.  Why does Juneau take security to max?  Like is the Capitol City a hotbed of terrorism or what?

Anyway the reason I am writing is to tell you I have decided the next time I am put in the booth for a feel up, I am going to start taking off my clothes.  May stop with my underwear, but who knows.  Am thinking of getting some really ridiculous boxers to wear for the occasion.  Bright neon colors, with wording that says LOOK HERE!  And accented with a big red arrow just so there is no possibility of mistaking where to look.  What do you think?  Would you visit me in the slammer or the mental hospital? 

If I felt that this was the only way, or an effective way it wouldn't be so bad.  Why don't they ask the experts, the Israelis, for a tip or two?

Mickey 


While in California every Friday I went with my mother to a current event discussion group.  The moderator is excellent.  He could hold his own on PBS.  What more could you ask for then an understandable clear voice, knowledgeable, rational thought, and staying calm. The people who go to this are contemporaries of my 88 year old mother.  One of the last times I went before coming back to Juneau, was after the shootings in Arizona.  One person commented on the need for there to be more of an effort to locate people who might do something like what happened.  The thought hit me that if there was such an effort back in the '60's, I might have been committed, and still be institutionalized!  And for what?  Being one of the first people at my high school to grow their hair a little long, and forgo the usual dress standards. The journey though life can be a fine line travel!

From the comedy is not kind department...

Am in California again on a parent care mission.  Went to the post office today to mail a package to the Glory Hole. Enclosed was a check to be used for their holiday food needs, and a half dozen pair of barely used, clean and bleached socks. These socks were instruments of torture for me, did not give me happy feet, and made a big contribution to my worsening TDS.

For some reason I couldn't resting putting a handwritten sticker on it that said, “The Glory Hole, Juneau's soup kitchen of choice and a world class homeless shelter and hospitality house. Actually this was in no way a belittlement of of any facet of the Glory Hole's operation, its staff or clients.

Rather it was a rip on the meaningless use of 'of choice' and 'world class.' They have been around for at least 20 years. Why I don't even want to know. I just can't stand 'em.  Why don't their users clarify who is choosing? And some comparison criteria be noted. And how do I get in touch with the WCCC. That is as everyone knows the WORLD CLASS CERTIFYING COMMISSION!  Who appoints them?  And who funds there operations?

But I'd rather listen to those words all day long, then read some of the hate posts lately in Craigslist, SE Alaska rants & raves. There is some sicko putting up some really gross posts about Obama, Muslims, African Americans and more. Am all for free speech and opposed to censorship, but I thought  we as a country had moved beyond derogatory stereotyping humor. Is there any silver lining of hope for our future?

The hero who ate bagels 2 at a time!

This is a note I just sent to Angel, 1 of Ada's twin daughters.  And I'd like to share it. The words spoken about Ada at her memorial have effected me and made me think about the person I am.

Angel,

I knew Ada from the time she was pregnant with you and your sister. I don't think you knew or even heard of me, as my connection with Ada was tenuous. I knew your father from the time I worked at the Department of Labor. Jack was one of my favorite customers at my business. This is where I met Ada. I had a vending stand on the corner by Juneau Drug. It was called Mickey's Bagel Bistro. In the summer of '83, (I may be off a year), Ada would come every morning and get 2 onion bagels with cream cheese. I was always very generous with the cream cheese. Lief Saya would get a bagel with a thick 2 – 3 inch load of the stuff. Other customers told me that instead of getting cream cheese at the store, they'd get a bagel with cream cheese, take it home and scrape most it off and have enough for at least a week. Leif would eat every bit of his. Ada was obviously pregnant, and I'd tease her about what the result would be from eating 2 bagels every day. And that is exactly what happened; she had twins!

Since then I have told that story so many times about the women who had 2 bagels everyday, and had twins, that all of Juneau and then some surely has heard it.

I was going to tell that story at her memorial, but the words of you and your sister were so powerful, it made my story seem trite to me. The Ada you knew was different then the one I knew. She never said much, but she was always friendly and had this mysterious little smile. I wish I had known her better. You are fortunate to have had a mother like her.

Best wishes on your journey through life.

Mickey

AKA the Bagel Man or Mickey's Bagels.

PS/Please feel free to share this with your sister or anyone else you would like to. Ada was a wonderful person and a hero!

Whatever you do, just don't dis muh tush!

This past Saturday, my mother and I had a field trip to the Berkeley Bowl. It was only a couple of years ago we used to go to Berkeley several times a week. We'd have lunch and go for a hot tub at the Y. Now it is a much more infrequent event.

We had lunch at the original Bowl. When we got there it was not crowed, especially for a Saturday. I parked my mom at a table and headed straight for the head, before getting our self-serve lunch. This beautiful ebony princess with corn rows and all gave me one great big 5 year old smile as I hurried on my way. Although I was in a state of near emergency, I had the presence of mind to return the smile and throw in a wave.

When I got back with lunch she and her carbon copy younger sister along with a happy proud daddy were sitting at the other end of the row tables from where my mother and I sat. She kept smiling at me. And what could I do but return those wonderful warm friendly smiles? I have always liked children. They are the most special of people. Our future rides with them, and it is everyone's duty to help them be the best person each one can be. My then 5 year old daughter was torn away from me by our cruel, destructive, inhumane, crippling custody laws and practices. She is now ten, and her father has now been absent for half of her life. My love for her is always on display, and shows as I dote on other children.

Waited until all 3 had settled in, I planned my act and then it was show time. It was one of my best performances ever. I put the father at easy and then concentrated on charming his daughters.

“Hi, I'm from Juneau, Alaska and I am taking my mother to lunch, just like your daddy is taking you. She's sitting right down there. This is your daddy right? I'm conducting an informal survey. Do you have a few minutes to answer a few questions?” They look at their daddy, who smiled and told them it was OK.

Cutting right to the chase, my first question was, “You two are Princess right?” And it went on. Ages, names, do you have your daddy wrapped around your little finger? Then right when I was getting to my big finish, this guy who was sitting behind me caught my attention. He was making some kind motioning signal with his hands. I though he was saying the he couldn't stand up because I was blocking his way. Couldn't believe he'd interrupt me for something like that. “Hey all you have to do is step back, or if you like I'll stand aside,” I told him. He looked at me like I was stupid. Then he told me he was eating his lunch and my butt was in his face. I couldn't believe it! Like I wasn't bent over so no crack was visible, no gas had passed, and I had even had a shower shortly before. But I kept my cool, only because I didn't want to spoil my act. But a couldn't resist telling him, “At least it's a cute one!”

Then back to the finish, I told the older sister that in my car was the cutest puppy ever. And asked if she would be willing to trade her younger sister for my puppy. She thought and thought and couldn't make up her mind. I ended with, “Good thing you're not an older brother, or it be a done deal!

The father smiled thanked me for coming over, and I went back to mother and our lunch with such a great feeling.

Continuing on my journey through life.

From my Facebook page 10/11/10

No more Costco!

After 15 years + no longer employed by Costco!! It was time for a change. I have always said,”that if it is not fun, why do it?” Unfortunately it hasn't been fun for a while. I have been doing some substitute teaching, taking it easy, and sleeping way 2 much! What's next? Whatever it is it will be something that I've never done before! So there are new doors to open and walk through!

Continued here on 10/18/10

Life keeps tossing change-ups! Am down in Bay Area. Came down for a very brief visit. An old family friend soon to be stepson was getting Bar Mitzvahed on Saturday, 10/14. Then in the evening he – the step-dad, not the Bar Mitzvahie – was getting married to the mother of Mr. B Mitzvah! My mother wanted to go. So nothing would do except that I come down from Alaska to take her. Let me emphasize that I came willing. There was no pressure of any kind used or needed.

My mother needed a blood transfusion. She has amyloidosis, a somewhat rare form of cancer with amazing deliberating effects! Although mom was only planing to attend the Bar Mitzvah, she was hopping the transfusion would give her an energy boost, as it has in the past. We arrived at Kaiser for her 9:00 AM appointment a little early. Then the blood wasn't ready until 11:30! They insisted on hooking mom up immediately, even though she had to urinate. It was quite a trip to rest room. Mom in her wheelchair, me following with the transfusion contraption. Then it was back in the chair for 4 hours!. Mom is in that chair for 7 hours +! Good thing she saved 5 minutes by getting hooked up before she went to the rest room. After that she was just too tired to go anywhere but home to take a nap.

Clarification - My mother has received very good care at Kaiser.  This was an exception.
As for me there was no way I was going to leave her at home and so anywhere. Besides my souvenir of Boston, a Brooks Brothers suit, had disappeared from the closet where I had left it from my early September visit for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. While I am still from the '60's and the step-dad/groom is a refugee from Canyon, I would, however, have felt out of place going in my blue jeans.
After this my journey through life is probably going to change. Am going to be here until 11/2. Then I will be back around 11/18 and remain until after the first of the year. Or maybe I'll just stick around indefinitely. So for now that means no more substituting. And I am a little unsure about what I am going to do for work while I am here. Maybe I will just collect UI. There is always a chance that I will go back to Costco. I was here for 15 months and had a blast at the Concord Costco. Even now over 2 years later, when I walk in am greeted like I am everyone's favorite person of all time.
When I got back to Juneau in April of '08, I promised Sasha that I would never leave her for so long. Even though I went up to visit every 2 months it was to long a time. But my situation with Sasha is different now. It hardly seems like it would be possible, but I am seeing her even less then when I was in California! And less then at any time since her mother insisted on separating 5 years ago! I will keep my apartment in Juneau this time. It is just to good to give up.
Oh for sure I will warn you when I do write about my views on child custody battles. The harm that has been done to Sasha by keeping her away from her father is not pretty. But for now don't get me started. It is to hard to stop.
My mother is 88. Until 2 years ago she was doing just fine. Then out of nowhere she fractured a hip. She didn't fall, but there was the fracture. Then her hands started to give her pain. This is an effect from the amyloidosis. I don't think she is going anywhere soon, but I want to spend as much time with her as I can. Joni, who I am separated from never, by her own admission, understood why I felt the need to go and take care of her when the need might arise. Hold me back, it is about to start.

Until next time.....